Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a six pack. As I reached for the last sixxer of tall boys in the gas station so did another man. While raining blows down upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Festivus is about getting drunk in your robe while telling everyone you know how much they’ve disappointed you; or exposing yourself while drinking eggnog, maybe it’s about peeing in the snow while singing dirty songs…
No wait, the true meaning of Festivus is not for you to know!
I’m going to pump you full of hot liquor and take advantage of you out on the pier as it was done to me!
Afterward, I’ll feed you ham bone soup and say you’re pretty. ; )
Then the Airing of the Grievances!
Feats of Strength will have been performed on trail.
We’ll end by worshiping the pole, wiping our mouths clean, and heading to
On-After at Van’s Dive Bar.
WHO: Schweddy Balls of Flour
WHAT: Festivus Robe Hash
WHEN: 1:00pm or 13:00 or sunrise + 169 minutes – Hare off a few beers after that.
WHERE: Sunset Park in Gub’mint Hill 600 Vine Ave, Anchorage, AK 99501
Trail is A-A.
I can guarantee that your dog will not get heatstroke on trail. That makes the trail dog-friendly, right?
$5 Hash Cash