Author Archives: OnSec

B2H3 121: Trail is a diamond

This one’s a gem! Circle gets the square: This trail is a diamond. The RA has guaranteed weather so get your ass out to the field. Bring your running shoes for some 80′ sprints and a beer drinking hand, cause we’re playing sloshball. At least two teams will be chosen for a down-down take all game of beer in hand regulation sized ball game of kick ball.

WHO: Dr. Penis Venkman
WHAT: B2 121 Sloshball
WHEN: Saturday 22 July 2017 @ 13:00; Team selection at 13:30
WHERE: The tiny field in Campbell Park
WHY: Because you have something better to do than enjoy a day in the park?

Trail is A-A, Dog, Stroller, kid friends. Hash Cash is $5 which gets you all the beer in the cooler, but since we’re going to be not moving, and you must have a beer in hand at all times, bring a sixer to help out.

The Fox seems like an inevitable on-after.


B2 120: A Midsummer Night’s Fairy

This year for International Fairy Day… (you do remember what we did last year yah?) Hi Falutin’ Pussy and Mr. Gere’s Finger Puppet are leading us some place magical.  There have been promises of fairy rings and fairy toad stools and fairy beers for all us half minded fairies on trail.  Put on your silkiest wings or Bottom costume for a shiggy stroll through woods.

WHO: Hi Falutin’ Pussy and Mr. Gere’s Finger Puppet
WHAT: B2 120: A Midsummer Night’s Fairy
WHEN: Saturday 24 June 13:00 (Hares at 1330)
WHERE: Connor’s Lake at the corner of International and Jewel Lake
WHY: heh.  I said Bottom

A-A.  Maybe too dog friendly.  WEAR LOTS OF BUG DOPE. Hash Cash is $5

B2H3 116 Ninilchik Open Her

Aloha!  As you are all aware, IT’S SUMMER IN ALASKA!  That means everyone is about to fuck off into the wild until first snow (only 10 weeks away!).  Since we have been tracking your attendance for years and calculating where you are traveling to (local spikes in beer consumption), the scientistific half-minds that brought you B2 have determined that to maximize summer hashing potential, the next hash will travel to where you’re already going to be!

WHO: Software
WHAT: B2 116 – Ninilchik Open Her
WHEN: Saturday 27 May 2017 – Evening after the fishing trip
WHERE: Ninilchik (Directions below)
WHY: Because it’s Memorial Day Weekend and the King Opener is Sunday.

Trail will be A-A, Dog friendly, no strollers. No hash cash.

If you’re going to camp, there’s a $10 fee PER PERSON.  If you want to fish Sunday for the opener, get your fishing license and a king stamp.  Even if you don’t want to fish, get one so someone else can catch for you. (Nudge nudge wink wink).

If you want to go clamming Saturday, talk to Software or Lost and Found.  There’s one spot available right now.

Otherwise bring your bug dope, your fat bike, and a place to sleep for an Alaskan beach blanket bingo party.

DIRECTIONS: Directions to the charter and cabins. Mile 141.3 of the sterling hwy – 3 miles past Deep Creek launch. Rt side of the road or bluff side. Ninilchik, AK. The site is rented for Saturday and Sunday.

B2H3 115 Bear Bottom Bourbon Beer Brautwurst Bikini Barbeque Hash

Your hare, Grannies and Trannies, Oh My! says:

Trail starts at Hillside parking lot... Usual time. 1pm. Hares are gay 130. Saturday. 5 dollars hash cash. Its the Bear Bottom Bourbon Beer Bratwurst Bikini Barbecue Hash. Bag vehicle provided. bring a bag but not your airport suitcase.(change of shoes recommended). Maybe bear spray… A to a’ BYOC (chair for the barbeque)

WHAT: B2 115
WHEN: Saturday 13 April 2017 1300 HA: 1330
WHERE: Hillside Park off Abbot
WHY: Because GTO wants to give every one a free blowjob to celebrate His Cheetoness’ new position as Uncle Vlad’s cockholster.


Welcum Sister Hasher

Huzzah and congratulations to Cock-tistic (née George Emily), our newest member, who was spontaneously named at trail yesterday.
Buy her a beer and ask how she got her name!


B2 114 Springtime Flyby

What we thought was going to happen


What actually happened

5MinMisManMeeting Notes 


B2H3 113 Nuts in the Sun Trail

Nuts in the Sun Trail
~Schweddy Balls of Flour

When: 15 April 2017 13:00 – Hare away 13:30
Where:  Parking Lot behind Peanut Farm :: Corner of Juneau St. and East 54th Ave.

This trail commemorates the 60th analversary of the great Alaskan peanut farmer, Lee Cole.  He arrived in Anchorage on April 15, 1957 with plans for a seaside peanut plantation.  After struggling with frozen, snow-covered fields for a year he famously wrote “It’s too damn cold for peanuts! … I’m building a bar” in his quarterly report to investors.  By May of 1958 he began building the original 2,000 sq. ft. log building which he named in honor of his failed plantation.  Today the Peanut Farm is “20,000 feet of FUN!”  Most importantly, it has beer.

On-After: Blue Fox

$ 5 Hashjobs

Trail is dogchild friendly if they’re leashed (lots of traffic).

Bar is not dogchild friendly.

5MinMisMan Meeting Notes