Author Archives: OnSec

Four score weeks ago when it was 80º warmer, a rag tag group of harriettes and harriers joined together to figure out how fucking hard it is to set trail in good conditions.  One of them showed up late, didn’t pay attention, probably got drunk on trail, and, exactly as you would expect – was a shitty hare.  To make up for her hash appropriate behavior she selected the most challenging weather week of the year.  That’s right, the RA is guaranteeing weather again!

WHO: High-V, going Down On A bull moose
WHAT: B2 107
WHEN: Saturday 21 January 2017, 13:00 HA 13:30
WHERE: Campbell Airstrip Trailhead OFF BASHER DR https://goo.gl/maps/NKV6o9mQsiS2
WHY: Because we’re cooler than those Aurora fucks who ran naked in -50º last night

A-A, XTREMEly dog friendly, strollers may be a challenge with the DEEP SNOW.  ID for circle. Hash cash is always $5

Sign up for a trail!  Next available:

18 February
4 March
18 March (possibly 4×40)

So there I was, polishing up my anti blue blocker shades so that I could see the powder blue marks on the freshly powdered snow, when Donnie the Retard, ups the game with a huge brick of flame orange chalk.  I for one welcome the new friendlier 2017 Donnie.  No doubt he will find new ways to fuck us, but that is the fun innit?

• WHO: Donnie the Retard
• WHAT: B2 106 – A long strong black pudding
• WHEN: Saturday 7 January 2017 – 1300 – Hares at 1330
• WHERE: SOUTH Taku Lake Park
  Directions to A – take Dimond Westbound (away from Mountains) to Stormy Place, go North (a right off of Dimond). The road dead ends into a parking lot for Taku park by the skate park. NOT THE PARKING LOT OFF 76TH.
• WHY: Because Donnie!

A-? / No Dogs / No Strollers / Hash cash is $5 for everyone but Finger

Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a six pack. As I reached for the last sixxer of tall boys in the gas station so did another man. While raining blows down upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Festivus is about getting drunk in your robe while telling everyone you know how much they’ve disappointed you;  or exposing yourself while drinking eggnog, maybe it’s about peeing in the snow while singing dirty songs…

No wait, the true meaning of Festivus is not for you to know!

I’m going to pump you full of hot liquor and take advantage of you out on the pier as it was done to me!

Afterward, I’ll feed you ham bone soup and say you’re pretty.  ; )

Then the Airing of the Grievances!
Feats of Strength will have been performed on trail.
We’ll end by worshiping the pole, wiping our mouths clean, and heading to

On-After at Van’s Dive Bar.

WHO:  Schweddy Balls of Flour
WHAT:  Festivus Robe Hash
WHEN:  1:00pm or 13:00 or sunrise + 169 minutes – Hare off a few beers after that.
WHERE:  Sunset Park in Gub’mint Hill  600 Vine Ave, Anchorage, AK 99501

Trail is A-A.
I can guarantee that your dog will not get heatstroke on trail.  That makes the trail dog-friendly, right?
$5 Hash Cash

My most esteemed and revered colleagues of the Society of Hares and Hounds Hashing – Chapter Los Anchorage,  let me begin my missive by admitting and heretofore expressing my most sincere regrets and apologies.  It has come to my attention, both explicitly and by virtue of nature (that I by happenstance looked at a calendar), that it is deep in the cycle of your desire, nae desperate need for fulfillment, of information relating to our next and most immediate event!  How have I neglected until this Thursday to perform my most necessary and sacred duties as Secretary of the On-On; that is, how have I neglected to transmit the most intimate details of our next rendezvous, scheduled prior to be two days future – namely this Saturday (a hashing day).  So, in the spirit of the notice provided me, namely to get off my ass and post the damn dets, I provide for you in the most perfunctory manor and as plainly as possible, with restraint in the department of enthusiastic description, I do offer up to Our Society the most important and relevant information currently in my possession about this Saturday’s hash.

WHO: Unnecessary Penetration and Banana Nut Bred
WHAT: B2 104
WHEN: Saturday 12 December 13:00 – Hares Away 13:30
WHERE: Blue Fox Cocktail Lounge 3461 E Tudor Rd, Anchorage, AK 99507 WHY: Because winter!

Reverse Shuttle (Agana Style!) from B-A, Dogs on trail not at circle, ID for circle, kiddos ok but you know – Circle is at the Fox and APD doesn’t approve of kiddos being supervised in the parking lot of a bar by the family hound (fascists).  Hash Cash is only $5

It happens that this is Penny’s last B2 trail.  It wouldn’t hurt you to think of a way to say Aloha.