Category Archives: Trails

B2H3 95 Donnie the Explora

Oh Donnie.  Trailus well markus.  Bearus no maulus.  Mudflats no emergency extractus.  Mosquitos no malarius.  Moosus no molestus.  Homeowner no shootus.  May he run us through shiggy like diarrhea warmly exploding all over our legs.

WHO: Donnie the Retard
WHAT: B2H3 95th trail – Donnie Does Deep South Anchorage
WHEN: Saturday 6 August 13:00 – Hare away 13:30
WHERE: Johns Park – 313 Bree Ave https://goo.gl/maps/4xzFxFKc3YL2
WHY: Because Donnie knows how to find new trails for your enjoyment!

Trail is A-A.1, No ID, WELL BEHAVED DOGS, Shiggy guaranteed.  Hash Cash is only $5.

B2 patches available at trail or shipped to you  https://squareup.com/store/b2h3/

 

B2H3 92nd Run – Hare School!

Aloha to all the inexperienced but enthusiastic (dare I say virginal) hares out there.  Too timid to jump in with both feet, but you still need to pop your haring cherry?  Wish there was a way to just dip your toe in the stream with being completely responsible for the pack’s enjoyment (and fearful of incurring their wrath with a s-h-i-t-t-y trail)?

Come out to HARE SCHOOL!  It’s a fun, safe, and (optionally) clean way of getting a little live action trail laying.

This is how it goes:
YOU are given a bottle of flour, a beer, and a timer.  You will run out to set an A-A trail for 15 minutes.  When you get back, the entire pack will follow your trail.  You will stay at the back of the pack AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.  Watch them fuck up your perfectly laid trail, lay the blame on you feet, and curse your name.  You will learn that those perfectly clear marks you thought you were putting down got blown away, were too small to see, were too hidden for a pack that small, etc.  You will also learn that no matter how good a job you thought you did, the pack gets more and more half-minded the more beer you leave for them.  Once the pack gets back, we’ll do a mini circle, take a little bit of constructive criticism, then do the whole thing again with another hare.

WHO: You!
WHAT: 92nd Running – Hare School
WHEN: Saturday 23 July 2016 13:00 – Hares 13:20ish, 14:20ish, 15:00ish, etc.WHERE: Kincaid Park – Raspberry Road Parking Lot https://goo.gl/maps/HuSaUsxRfzp
WHY: Because there is nothing better than tearing ass around the woods chasing bears and drinking moderately warm beer

A-A; NO ID, MAYBE Strollers; DOGS ON LEASHES; Hash Cash $5

Words for 24/24

Congratulations to all the intrepid half-minds who boldly charged into 24 Trails in 24 Hours.  10 Hashers told their friends they were cumming, 15  showed up throughout the night.  Three hashers were either so committed, so drunk, or just to crazy to quit – going Down On A bull moose, Unnecessary Penetration, and Low Key ran the entire trail – clocking 35 miles.  Good job you ultra race-ists.  Uncle Bondage managed to stay alive for the entire event by strategically “supporting the event” driving the Shag Wagon during the longest legs.  He may have been spotted napping during his “support” legs.

Thanks to all the hares: DOA (twice!), Uncle B, Colorado Steamer, Unnecessary Penetration, Just Heather, Red Blood Gives You Wings!, Just Alyssa, Matthew McKindaGay, and Subaru nmy HUHU. Rumors of Dr. Penis Venkman and Low Key snaring Uncle Bondage, may or may not be true, but one thing is certain – Just Mickey (woof) accidentally hared trail 3 with Uncle B.

Double special thanks to Matthew, Red Blood, and Subaru for showing up with food, and hot bevvys.  Once the rain set in y’all kept everyone’s spirits up and let us keep going.

Thanks for making another incredibly dumb B2 event a success!

B2H3 24 Trails 24 Hours

Harriers and Harriettes!  It’s solstice – the longest day of the year.  To celebrate we’re going to abuse all of the midnight sun, our legs, and likely our livers.  That’s right – 24 Trails in 24 Hours.  What kind of madness is that you say?  Starting at 10 am Saturday trails will be set every few hours though out the day and night until 10 am Sunday (when the bars open).

$48 bucks gets you all the trails, a sweet patch, absurd bragging rights, beer, food, water, and 24-48 miles of sweet Alaskan shiggy!  REGO here https://squareup.com/store/b2h3/

What if I’m not an ultrarace-ist bastard? 
No problem!  We have hard starts every 3 hours, the locations of which are published here http://bearbottomhashhouseharriers.com/24-in-24/  Come on out for a regular length trail a mini circle and show support for the half-minds. All trails are A-B.  Hash Cash is only $5 per trail.

Why aren’t we doing something special for the solstice trail?
I’m so glad you asked that!  It won’t actually be the solstice, but you’re only going to be 10 minutes of day light off by the weekend.  At 22:00 there will be a Solstish Trail leaving out of Beer Can/Little Campbell Lake.  Trail will be A-A with food served at the end.  This happens to coincide with the 12 hour mark for the ultra-halfminds and they’re going to need to recharge.  Hash Cash for this trail is $10.

All these pricing schemes… so complicated.
Not really.  If you want to do the whole thing, pay the full rego – get the patch.
If you want to run a regular trail – show up and pay hash cash just like normal.  The Solstish Trail is more expensive because you’re getting food.  You don’t need to pre-rego – just show up and pay hash cash.

What can I do to help out?
Come to MisMan tomorrow and we’ll get you sorted.  We still need hares from Point Woronzof at 0100 and Westchester Lagoon at 0700.

B2H3 66 Drill Weekend

Harriers, harriettes, and half-minds: our dearest brother Fucking Jewed Us screwed up in a new and interesting way. He volunteered to hare (yah!!!) but didn’t realize that he DOES NOT actually have drill. He’s actually going to follow through and set up a trail (not in the hills). Bring your pipes for singing some cheer to the muggles.

WHO: Does The Finger Count?
WHAT: B2 66 Drill Weekend Trail
WHEN: Saturday 11 June – 1300 hare away 1330
WHERE: 4781 Elmore Rd (Softball fields
WHY: Summer running! Singing! Balls in the air!

A-A.  Dogs – yes with a leash. Stroller NO. ID possible indoor circle depending on the weather.

Hash cash is always $5

B2H3 65 Blood replacement? You’ve Been Fucked!

Aloha hookers!  It was a bit of a loose carry but we’re on the full with details for this weeks trail! The hares have a prepared a bit of a show and go whilst mounting a typical umbrella defense to the pack’s scramble.  It’s the RA’s call whether they’re offsides or if they get to knock-on. Regardless, there’s always time for the in and out before they take a proper facial.

WHO: Rush Gumballz & Long Story Short Dick
WHAT: B2 #65 – Blood replacement? YBF
WHEN: Saturday 28 May 2016 – 13:00 – HA 13:30
WHERE: Davis Park (Chalet) in Mountain View
WHY: Because someone is going to get a special prize if they figure out what that mess above is on about.

A-A – Dogs/Strollers at your own risk – ID YES – Be prepared for a Rush Trail – Hash Cash is $5

31 MAY IS THE LAST DAY TO REGO FOR THE CHEAP RATE FOR 24/24! Price doubles to $48 on 1 June.  Rego early – rego often! https://squareup.com/store/b2h3/

B2H3 #64 ASS Invades SF

Coming to you from the Special ASS Invasion section of Hash Alaska, a collection of half-minds are going down (on her) to San Francisco for the 69th Bay to Blackout Hash hosted by SFH3, Gypsies in the Palace H3, FMH3, Fog City H3, EBH3, Barrrrbary Coast H3, and BARH3.  It also happens that the 104th Bay to Breakers foot race across San Francisco is happening at the same time.  It was incredibly generous of the Bay Area kennels to allow the race-ists to share their special day and name.  I’m sure it has everything to do with the founding principles of hashing: to promote physical fitness, to acquire a great thirst and satisfy it with beer, to work off the weekend hangover, and to make  members feel not as old as they are.

WHO: YOU and other members of B2H3, A2H3, AuroraH3
WHAT: ASS Invasion of Bay to Blackout
WHEN:

  • 13 May Kiss My Shiny Metal Ass – Let’s go on a Bender
  • 14 May – Don’t Probe me Bro! UFOs and Alien Ho’s
  • 15 May – Star Whores Episode LXIX: The Foursome Awakens

WHERE: San Francisco! http://sfh3.com/sections/9/pages/71
WHY: Why am I still answering this question?  There’s an ASS to invade!

Hopefully A2H3 will reprise of their shitty Thursday Night Trail which sent off the intrepid assplorers last year.  It was AMAZING!

Fine print: There is no B2 trail scheduled in Anchorage this weekend.  If someone wants to host one, DO IT!  I’m not your supervisor. 

B2H3 #62 SnatchChat

Cum one cum all to see if Red Blood can manage two trails in one week! Trail is A-B, shuttle back to A prior to circle.  This is a “Tech on Trail” trail, which means you are not just encouraged to bring your tech on trail, but actually asked to do so. This will be a photo scavenger hunt trail, but don’t worry, this ain’t yo mama’s photo scavenger hunt. Unless yo mama liked running. In which case, might be similar.

WHO: Red Blood Gives You Wings!
WHAT: B2’s 62nd trail – SnatchChat
WHEN: Saturday April 30th, 2016 @ 1300, Hariette away at 1330
WHERE: Elderberry Park, 1297 W 5th Ave
WHY: Because it’s spring time in Alaska, enjoy it while it lasts! Also, prizes!

Kids/strollers: Wouldn’t recommend
Dogs: Also wouldn’t recommend
ID: Abso-fucking-lutely
Hash cash is $5.

Don’t forget that the price for 24 Trails in 24 Hours goes up 1 June.  Rego early rego often. https://squareup.com/store/b2h3/

 

24 Trails in 24 Hours

Rego is finally live!  $24 until 1 June, $48 afterwards.  Rego early rego often.

What’s 24/24?  I’m so glad you asked see http://b2h3.com/24-in-24/ for all the details fit to print.

 

B2H3 60 Pallets, Tires, and Beers – OH MY!

Just like a bunch of college sophomores, we’ve all been very responsible when it come to bagging it up, but now it’s time to haul out a little more than we brought in. I’m talking about rubbish, of course. Long Story Short Dick has been balls-deep in the Wizard of Oz, and on this trail he’ll be laying a yellow brick road for you to follow. Don’t be a farm girl from Kansas; refrain from trespassing, assault, and murder. Bring your dog, watch out for witches.

WHO: Long Story Short Dick
WHAT: Wizard of OZ meets Coastal Cleanup
WHEN: Saturday 16 April 2016 1300 Hare Away 1330
WHERE: Fish Creek Park 3907 E Turnagain Blvd, Anchorage, AK 99517
WHY: Why not make the parks better for everyone while acquiring a great thirst and satisfying it with beer?

Trail is A-A. Everybody bring a safeway/carrs bag for some mild trash pickup and be ready for some good ass beer for the kennel and a Turkey Eagle split. ID – NO; Kids – SURE; Dogs – YES