WHO: Donnie The Retard
WHERE: Northwood Park
WHEN: Thursday, July 19th, 1800, HA 1630
WHY: Thursday is a hashing day, and Donnie wants to set a properly fucked up trail for the pack. RA promises weather!
Notes from the Hare: Trail is A to ?, dry bags are not required but generally a good idea. Dogs are fine. Bow-wow chicka wow-wow.
WHO: Going Down On A Bull Moose
WHAT: B2H3 142: Wet and Wild
WHEN: Saturday May 12, 13:00 HA 13:30
WHERE: Prospect Heights Trailhead
WHY: It’s Spring in Alaska, and we need to get back out Into The Wild! Bring your trail shoes, your need for beer, and some dry clothes, because I can guarantee you’ll need them.
Trail is A-A, dog friendly, children if they are independent, and virgins are guaranteed to leave sore. Hash Cash if $5, parking is also $5 as it is at a trailhead, so either carpool, bring extra cash, or get a parks permit.
WHO: Going Down On A Bull Moose, Cocktistic, Takes A Bigger Cock, Unholy Nipples, Subaru In My Huhu, Ho White and the Seven Dwarves
WHAT: B2H3 137: World Peace Through Beer
WHEN: Saturday November 11 13:00 HA 13:30
WHERE: Carpentier’s Lounge
WHY: World Peace Through Beer is an annual event held on the closest hashing day to United Nations Day, Oct. 24. We are helping all beer-producing nations by encouraging production and consumption of beer, and helping various hash groups open their eyes to the variety of beers and flavours enjoyed by hashers everywhere.
Countries featured: Japan, Germany
Trail is A-A. Bar is not dog-friendly, nor roads, but the kennel certainly is. Kids are questionable at best. Hash cash will be $10 for this trail, but there will be food at the end! Oh, and bring your ID or freeze outside.
A few of us set a race course for the Bonny Sosa Tuesday Night Race this last week, but due to municipal limitations, couldn’t do things like leave alcohol on trail, or run across illegal bridges. Plan on it being a wet, dirty, romping good time. Bring a change of clothes, or not, I’m not your mother.
WHO: going Down On A bull Moose and Uncle Bondage, Esquire
WHAT: B2H3 132: Bunny’s Soso Refux
WHEN: Saturday September 30 13:00 HA 13:30
WHERE: Tozier Track, across from the Blue Fox
WHY: not enough alcohol on the race course on Tuesday
A-A, dog friendly, not stroller friendly, ID a good idea in case it’s cold out or water is coming from the sky.
What we thought was going to happen
What actually happened
Nuts in the Sun Trail
~Schweddy Balls of Flour
When: 15 April 2017 13:00 – Hare away 13:30
Where: Parking Lot behind Peanut Farm :: Corner of Juneau St. and East 54th Ave.
This trail commemorates the 60th analversary of the great Alaskan peanut farmer, Lee Cole. He arrived in Anchorage on April 15, 1957 with plans for a seaside peanut plantation. After struggling with frozen, snow-covered fields for a year he famously wrote “It’s too damn cold for peanuts! … I’m building a bar” in his quarterly report to investors. By May of 1958 he began building the original 2,000 sq. ft. log building which he named in honor of his failed plantation. Today the Peanut Farm is “20,000 feet of FUN!” Most importantly, it has beer.
On-After: Blue Fox
$ 5 Hashjobs
Trail is dogchild friendly if they’re leashed (lots of traffic).
Bar is not dogchild friendly.
WHO: Schweddy Balls of Flour and Hana Ho
WHAT: B2 112: Food Truck Festival Hash
WHEN: Saturday April 1, 13:00
WHERE: Alaska State Fair Grounds, 2075 Glenn Hwy, Palmer, AK 99645
WHY: Because the hares are going anyway.
Here’s what the hare said about trail: “I understand It’s a yard sale with funnel cake. Maybe you need some furniture? Maybe you need some trail? It’s supposed to be a balmy 40 degrees so dress appropriately. I’m sure everything will work out.”
No this isn’t a joke! Travel hash to Palmer! Kids should be OK, dogs are unknown. As always, hash cash is just $5. And fuck you Jew’d Us, because I know you won’t read this anyway.
Oh holy shit really? It’s time for feets of winter stupidity already? It’s Nut Wrangler and Unholy Nipples hashy birthday so that must mean its time for us to strap knives to our feet in order to drink copious amounts of malt liquor. What’s that you say? Why would I do that you say? For GLORY! Thus far there are only 3 hashers who have been so gloriously half-minded to complete the 4×40.
Just in case you aren’t clear on what’s happening, and because I like the sound of my own voice:
WHO: All the halfminds
- ICE MILE – drink a beer, do a lap. repeat 4 times. Ice skates encouraged. (Approximately 1.5 miles total)
- 4×40 – Drink a 40, skate a lap. Repeat 4 times. Ice skates required, helmet required on lap 4, sober driver required. (Approximately 1.5 miles total)
- 4xULTRA – Drink a 40, run around Westchester. Drink a 40, run Westchester in reverse. Repeat 2 times. Helmet is a good idea, sober driver required. (Approximately 8 miles). New for 2017!!!
WHEN: Saturday 4 March 2017 – 13:00 – Start when your event when you arrive.
WHERE: Westchester Lagoon https://goo.gl/maps/zQRjrFqv4oo
WHY: All the glory. And a sweet patch.
“Trail” is A-A. If you intend to participate in the 4×40 or 4xULTRA you MUST RSVP so I can get you 40s and you MUST HAVE A SOBER DRIVER. You will not be allowed to participate without one. You are strongly encouraged to bring a helmet with you. Hash cash for the Ice Mile is $5. Hash Cash for the 40 events is $20 (That shit is expensive yo!).
Dogs, kids, strollers are all fine. Cake is not a lie.
Traveling all the way to the island of Alaska from the island of Hawaii, Hana Ho has partnered with Schweddy Balls of Flour and George Lindsay to see if she has what it takes to lei a trail in our cold, white sand. Bring your best Hawaiian attire and cum be a Schweddy Ho!
WHO: Hana Ho, Schweddy Balls of Flour, and George Lindsay
WHAT: B2 109
WHEN: Saturday 18 February 2017, 13:00 HA 13:30
WHERE: Upper O’Malley Trailhead https://goo.gl/maps/BNdoreb4QVo
WHY: You know you want to get lei’d!
A-A, dog friendly, no strollers. ID for circle. Hash cash is always $5